allegory (r) wrote,

While I may

present a face of rationality—

I'm thinking through everything, but inside I'm falling apart over this.

I think it's my fault. I'm sorry I've needed so much.

I should have just left well enough alone so many times. Left when I felt upset so many times, since where there was no consolation I wasn't going to pull it out of rock. I need to learn my patience well, and I always forget what that takes. I miss her already, and maybe what I need is to get through this initial separation anxiety and be able to, once I have a clear head, try to examine my emotions for her, try to clearly word (to myself) what it is I want, and try ever so hard not to expect anything at all.

I'm having that sick feeling again, and I can't sleep.

  • ok, so it's been a while

    and i need to make note of this intriguing stroke of luck. on the usual subject. never did i expect to find myself sitting and talking philosophy…

  • paling

    I'm really scraping here. Just swirling water in a shallow pan, and trying not to lose whatever I might have. I figure, if something's there and I…

  • but

    all is not well. nothing is going as i hoped. release the pigeons and don't forget clip their wings when they return. make over. make do. make way.

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